Honoring Our Saints

Why Memorial Gifts Deserve Better Than Paying the Heating Bill

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The Feast of All Saints invites us to remember those who have gone before us, joining the great cloud of witnesses. Some left their mark through financial gifts that became part of the congregation's physical story—names now carved in wood, etched in glass, inscribed on plaques. When I visit historic churches in my town, these names speak even when no living voice remembers them. These saints, along with hundreds of others giving sacrificially, built houses of worship that would serve generations to come.

While many benefactors of the church seem to live on immortally—as we see in the epitaphs of colonial churches across America and cathedrals great and small around the world—countless others who gave sacrificially of their time, talent, and meager means have been lost to time. Perhaps recorded in a musty book buried in a basement, or written on a baptism or membership card long since discarded.

Even in this digital age, it remains common for Christians to remember their local church in death. Families still choose the church where their loved one was a member to receive memorial gifts sent in their honor and memory. And churches are always gracious recipients of these gifts.

But gracious reception and faithful stewardship are not the same thing.

In 2003, my great-grandmother died somewhat unexpectedly. Given her and the family's strong connection with the local church where they had worshipped for decades—a church they helped erect in the 1970s—it was natural to request donations in her name to honor her life and commitment to her neighbors and friends. While her physical presence was small, her impact on that small rural community was significant.

Many gifts were sent to the church and held in memorial funds. However, because the church was at a very lean point in its history, those gifts were used to pay the winter heating bill. Whether they genuinely could not afford the expense or simply decided to use these funds to offset other higher priorities, I was disheartened by their choice to honor gifts given in her memory by paying the heating bill.

I recognize that every church and nonprofit has the legal right to use any monetary gift as they deem necessary. But just because a church can use memorial gifts for operating expenses doesn't mean it should. When families and friends give memorial gifts to honor someone's life and legacy, they expect—and deserve—something more than seeing that money disappear into budget line items that will be forgotten by next year's stewardship campaign.

Research shows that 33% of donors give memorial or tribute gifts to honor deceased friends and family^¹—making those "in lieu of flowers" donations in church bulletins and obituaries one of the most common forms of charitable giving in America. With memorial gifts arriving so frequently, often without advance notice or family designation, churches must have clear policies and procedures in place before the next death occurs.

Four Essential Steps for Stewarding Memorial Gifts

1. Establish a policy and procedure for stewarding memorial gifts. A good policy will include how to manage these funds—whether pooling smaller gifts into broad-category memorial funds (music, education, mission) or creating individual memorial accounts in consultation with the family. The policy should specify who approves expenditures, how funds are tracked, and how donors are acknowledged. Most importantly: establish this policy before you need it, not in the crisis of grief following a death.

2. Create a spending plan with clear timelines. Designate which areas of ministry memorial funds will support to honor those whose legacies are represented. Popular categories include music ministry, Christian education, youth programs, community outreach, and scholarship funds. Aim for memorial gifts to always support the church's mission in the community—never use them for overhead or regular operating expenses unless explicitly designated by the donor or the deceased's family. Set spending deadlines (6-12 months maximum) to prevent funds from languishing unused. And critically: do not allow families to designate memorials for projects that will never realistically happen. Restricted funds for pipe dreams—like a bell tower a small church will never build—trap money that could be doing real ministry.

3. Report transparently on memorial fund usage. Share regularly—in annual reports, newsletters, and All Saints' Sunday—how memorial gifts have been used throughout the year. Celebrate the legacies being honored: "The Music Memorial Fund provided three scholarships to youth music camp this summer" or "The Community Service Memorial Fund supported our food pantry expansion." Visible legacy gifts funding ongoing ministry signals both financial health and accountability to congregation and donors alike.

4. Build a comprehensive stewardship education program that includes planned giving. The Presbyterian Church (USA) emphasized and educated their clergy on planned giving, resulting in a 47% increase between 2017 and 2023—Presbyterians gave $138 million in 2023 through planned giving alone, even as other types of giving declined^². When churches teach faithful stewardship year-round rather than just during October pledge campaigns, giving responds. A robust stewardship education program that includes planned giving, memorial gifts, and annual giving creates a culture where legacy conversations are normal, not taboo—and transforms how your congregation honors both the living and the dead.

As we look at honoring our saints this year, let us be sure that the names we may print in our worship guides continue to have a living presence among us. What legacy are we creating for them? When memorial gifts arrive bearing their names, will those gifts create something lasting and meaningful—or will they disappear into budget line items, forgotten by next year's stewardship campaign?

Imagine instead a church where memorial gifts consistently fund scholarship programs that send young people to camp, mission trips that transform communities, or music ministries that inspire worship for decades. Imagine families receiving updates about how their loved one's memorial continues to make a difference years after their death. Imagine a congregation that celebrates legacy giving openly, creating a culture where talking about death, money, and faithful stewardship feels natural rather than taboo. This isn't aspirational fantasy—it's simply what happens when churches steward memorial gifts with intention and integrity.

My great-grandmother deserved better than having her memorial fund pay the heating bill for one month, and your saints deserve better too. If your church doesn't have a memorial gifts policy, create one before the next death. If you have a policy gathering dust in a file cabinet, review and update it. If you're tempted to use memorial money to patch operational shortfalls, pause and address the deeper financial crisis honestly.

Memorial gifts are not emergency funds. They are sacred trusts given by grieving people who want to honor lives that mattered. Steward them faithfully or direct them elsewhere. The faithful departed—and those who loved them—deserve nothing less. Make them proud as they cheer us on from the cloud of witnesses among us.

If your church needs help establishing memorial gift policies, reviewing financial health, or building a comprehensive stewardship education program, Pinnacle offers coaching and consulting to help congregations steward resources faithfully and sustainably. Let's honor your saints well.

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^¹ DonorSnap, "Nonprofit Memorial Donations: A Complete Guide," based on global donor research data, May 2025.

^² Presbyterian Church (USA) and Presbyterian Foundation planned giving data, as reported in "Planned gifts offer opportunity to align final wishes with meaningful ministries," November 2024.